Not Without Anna

[Shirley]

I read this book on the way down to and while in Florida... written by our own Vicki Taylor!

Great story... having taught middle school (these are high school kids) it really struck some chords with me, and I plan to share it with a former student with whom I'm frequently in touch. She'll be a sophomore this fall.

Vicki - the book was in the car! I should have had you sign it! :doh:

I would love to hear the comments of high schoolers who have read this book. It's quite startling in a few places, yet Vicki did her research... I wonder how seriously a teen would take the book...

We had a discussion tonight at the dinner table about drinking at IU -- Trevor shared where a student BEGGED not to be taken to the ER when he drank so much he could not ID the faces of kids he knew on the floor... they found him in his room, drinking alone, a freshman who weighed maybe 125... they (Trevor and floormates) forced him to go against his will, wrapped him in blankets, took him in Trevor's van, being the only vehicle he could lie down in, put plastic under him "in case", and drove him to the ER. None of the others had been drinking. This was your typical "college nerd" super-smart kid, as are all these kids, honors floor where Trevor was governor last year, and he just wanted to see what it was like to get drunk... and then he did it alone! and way over-did it at that!! He was young and very small for his age.

The ER emptied him out, put him on a catheter to "back flush" him and get saline / water into him faster (that is what FINALLY got his attention, btw), pumped saline into him via IV, and released him 5 hrs later. Trevor and floormates were with him all night. He's a nice kid, but never thanked them once for what they did for him! His parents in Nebraska probably learned of the incident when they got the bill, but the kid, being under 21, did NOT want to go b/c he "would get in trouble". Well, no one knows what might have happened if he hadn't gone, but Trevor and the other honors floormates knew darn well he needed to go and they physically forced him to go. This, however, was not a peer group frat-type activity... so some common sense and sober minds were at work on this kid's behalf.

There was a kid who died at IU a couple yrs ago b/c he refused to go to the ER when he did a "keg stand", fell over and hit his temple really hard, passed out briefly, came to, and refused to go to the ER. He wasn't that drunk, but was clearly injured. He refused to go due to his age and the fear of getting in trouble. He was a member of a frat, it was at a frat party. Three days later, he died of internal cranial bleeding. Trevor said all this kids' friends could do was call frequently and check on him, and he "seemed ok". Of course they could have done more, but kids don't think about things like that... they try to do the best they can, and try to honor their friends' requests and wishes... and then live with "if only's" for the rest of their lives. This incident was in the news a lot.

:(

[vmtwriter]

The comments I got back from teenagers was that it seemed "real" to them. They said that I captured the teen talk and their "attitudes".. which made me feel really good.

I've had a lot of parents read this book and tell me that it was a definite eye opener.

Here are some comments I've received from reviewers:

My immediate reaction, upon finishing Not Without Anna , was that it should be required reading for every parent of a teen or preteen. Then I realized that was only half the story. Teens and preteens need to read this book as well. And grandparents, who are perhaps even more clueless than the parents in this chilling story of drugs, sudden death, anguish, guilt, and—finally—rebirth. Not Without Anna is a modern morality tale, a story of good, well-meaning parents who had no idea what was happening with their children. It also delves, first-hand, into the anguish teenagers can suffer over little things, as well as over problems that are truly almost insurmountable. It shows in stark reality how teenagers risk death when they just think they are being cool. Not Without Anna opens eyes on both sides of the age gap. I heartily recommend it.
Review by Grace Kone, who writes as Blair Bancroft

Not Without Anna is a gut-wrenching look at the problems of teenage drug use and sexual activity in today's society. Without judgment, Vicki M. Taylor explores the lives and emotional upheaval of a group of teenagers after the drowning death of one of their friends during a drug-fogged swimming party.

In similar fashion, she explores the emotions of the bereaved mother, left alone after her daughter's death with only the girl's diaries, discovering that the child she thought she knew did not exist.

As friends, loved ones, and a shocked town try to come to terms with the death, fingers begin to point and tempers flare. And just when you think you have it all figured out, a shocking twist changes everyone's life--forever. Not Without Anna is not to be missed.
Review by Natalie R. Collins

If you're interested in what others have said about NOT WITHOUT ANNA, I have a lot more reviews here http://www.vickimtaylor.com/NWA-review.html

[Majj]

Thats sounds like a very good book Vicki must put that on my to get list ..I guess it can be ordered through any book store here and sent over ....
I LUV reading.......................
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v373/Maj/Gifs%20and%20siggys/novb.gif

[Jean]

It sounds like one I would enjoy reading.

[Shirley]

People, whether young or old, are so often just too afraid to do the right thing... wives, husbands, children, parents... fear of "being found out", "getting caught", "beeing seen", why our society has become so darned judgmental, and why parents do this to their precious kids is beyond me.

While homeschooling, my kids did not see the "ooooh you're gonna get in trouble..." attitude of the general population, or the stern judgmental glare of the teacher... and as a teacher, I refused to dish out such judgments to my students, which got me in hot water more than a couple times with my team teachers/administration, but so what. Kids who are afraid cannot learn, and cannot make wise decisions. I would share that with my students, too... if you are afraid, or you are not feeling joy, then you aren't learning much, are you?! We would stop, regroup, and start fresh. Not always easy, but usually successful.

"Learning is fun and fun is learning"
"Fear blocks learning and wise decisions"
"What's your motive?"
These were banners in all my classrooms, regardless the grade level. We talk about goals, but what about motives? In the book, if the kids had not been afraid, and had individually examined their motives... big area for classroom discussion here.

[Jean]

Shirley, every time I read your posts about childrens feelings and classroom teachings. I am so happy there are teachers in our society like you. Retired or not, you will always be a good teacher.

[Shirley]

Thank you, Jean! That means a lot. I wish admin and parents always saw it like that. Many parents did... but many wanted everything just handed to their kids...

If my school had been close, I'd have stayed, but 45 min one way was a killer, quite literally... Steve drives 5 minutes one way. :D

[Jean]

I certainly enjoy your teaching skills here on the board. I would of been proud to have you an Birdnerd as one of my childrens teachers!! I can remember one very outstanding teacher. When we had a 12 yr old at home from school for a knee surgery recovery he volunteered to come and be a home teacher 3 times a week for two months. He was a very good teacher. He even brought his wife who was also a teacher to join us for dinner a few times.

[Shirley]

Now THAT'S my kind of teacher!! :emot-danc