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Sharon
08-03-2005, 10:19 PM
I guess it's time to explain Eephus's death.

Some of you may know that Eephus started plucking last summer. Trusting my vet of 8 years, I allowed him to give him accupuncture, which actually helped, but only for 2 weeks at a time. After 5 treatments and after asking Doc several times "shouldn't you do some bloodwork?" we decided to find a different vet. 6 months after he started plucking, we found out he had a severe GI infection, along with some active yeast. After treating that, our new vet moved to Nevada, and since the plucking hadn't stopped - the search was on again. The new vet wanted to try Haloperidol (Haldol) - an anti-psychotic drug. So, we went along with it and in many ways, it was great. Eephus was a problem child, a screamer, and sometimes aggressive - and it calmed him down some along with stopping the plucking. But, one of the very first "side effects" that showed up was: he hated being in his cage. He pushed out the bottom grate, got in the bottom tray and CRASH went the skirting. Fastened it down, and he started on the door. Rattled that sucker up and down in it's frame and shook the whole house, all the while making this indescribably horrible screaming/moaning noise. It got to the point where he slept perched on the open cage door and was only in his cage when no one was home. Greg fixed the door so he couldn't move it up and down, and he started coming out the feeder doors. Crappy cage, flimsy doors (you know, the ones with that little circle holding the top corner closed?) and we knew - we knew - something had to be done. But, we waited too long.
I left July 3rd to spend a few days at my mom's and go to Cedar Point with my niece.
Greg came home from work the afternoon of the 5th, and found Eephus stuck in the breeder-box door (same as the feeder doors, just a bit larger) He had pushed the bottom corner out far enough to get his head through ... and that was as far as he got. It closed on his neck - we can only hope it was quick. It's so hard to think about what that poor little boy may have went thru - it just makes my stomach turn.
It took all of Greg's strength to push that corner out just a little bit - so how in the world Eephus had the strength to get his head out of there is beyond us. But, drugs do strange things to people, let alone a birdie, so who knows what he was thinking or feeling. I kept saying that I couldn't wait till it was time to get him off that drug, couldn't wait to have my baby boy back. It seems so unfair that I never got him back. And so unfair that he died such a horrible death. We loved him dearly, I just hope we made him happy for the last couple years of his life.
He never was crazy about his cage, but never ever tried to escape it until after he was on that drug. I'd much rather have a plucking, half-bald Eephus than have him buried in my rose garden. I've always hated drugs - and will never go that route again for any of my animals. Antibiotics etc. are one thing - but something like Haldol .... never again.
Talk about learning things the hard way. This will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Ginny
08-03-2005, 10:51 PM
OMG Sharon,

Thank you so much for sharing that with us. I know it must have been so hard. I had something horrible happen to our birds so I know just how you feel. But please don't blame yourself. You trusted your vet. Just like people trust their Dr. and they make a mistake that might take a life of a loved one. You just never know. That is so sad and a horrible accident. You are right I wonder how that happened. You just never know how a drug is going to react on a person or a bird.

Hon my thought and prayers go out to you that you can put this all behind you. I know it is hard and I know your sweet Eephus will be in your heart :heart: forever. I know he was happy with you and you gave him a great home and a good life for the time he was with you.

Big hugs to you and hubby I know how much you are hurting. :grouphug2

Jean
08-03-2005, 11:05 PM
Oh Sharon, no wonder your heart aches so terribly. :flower: :tighthug: :flower: I feel so sorry for the pain you and your baby had to endure. I understand what you mean when you question the validity and judgment of your avian vet. He should of warned you what the drug can do, he also could of put him on a higher dose then his system could tolerate. :(

Please, do not feel guilty for your choices, you tried to find him the best medical attention you could. Sometimes we are left feeling so helpless. You have learned a traumatic and heartbreaking lesson. It is wonderful of you to find the courage to share your devastating loss with others that care and are here to comfort you. :grouphug: the more information you can pass on to others may save one more bird from what your sweet Eephus had to endure.We never know what procedure is really right, we make choices with our avian vet in hopes to help comfort and heal our beloved avian babies.

I am so sorry you have such pain, I wish I was there to talk and comfort you. My heart is with you. "God bless you" :heart: :tighthug: :heart:

Jim
08-03-2005, 11:24 PM
Oh Sharon, I can only imagine your pain and heartache. I comment you for the courage it must have taken to share this we us. My your story be read as a reminder to all of us.

Thank You Sharon :tighthug:


Bless You :heart:

Shirley
08-03-2005, 11:32 PM
Sharon, I just don't know what to say that the others haven't already said, but my first thoughts were the courage it takes to share, and I'm glad you shared... someone will be helped by your sharing. You did the best you knew how for Eephus, and he is free now. We love you both,
Shirley :heart:

Scout Bird
08-03-2005, 11:52 PM
I know that there is very little I can say to stop the pain. But please, do not let this "Haunt you for the rest of your life".

I have been there, but I am sure that is does little to ease the pain hearing that. I know it feels like nobody in the world can understand, and really we can not understand your pain; but we know pain hurts and hate to see you feel bad.

Accidents Happen and they are not our fault. We trust valued professionals, it is not our fault when they mess up. We educate ourselves and move on. Do what you can to work through this. I lost a bird recently, a real bad blow to me and blaming myself and guilt have widdled me to the bone, dont do it to yourself!! The nights laying awake, the what if's, the I should haves and the guilt hurt, and I am sorry to hear you are having to endure this.

Talk to someone, talk to us, scream outside....do what you must, try not to let stay with you...Time and more time, it takes alot to heal and I hope you do soon.

It WILL get better. You are not far out of this yet, but you have a new precious baby to fill your heart...it will push the pain out, but let the memories live...I promise
Bric

Ginny
08-04-2005, 12:02 AM
I know that there is very little I can say to stop the pain. But please, do not let this "Haunt you for the rest of your life".

I have been there, but I am sure that is does little to ease the pain hearing that. I know it feels like nobody in the world can understand, and really we can not understand your pain; but we know pain hurts and hate to see you feel bad.

Accidents Happen and they are not our fault. We trust valued professionals, it is not our fault when they mess up. We educate ourselves and move on. Do what you can to work through this. I lost a bird recently, a real bad blow to me and blaming myself and guilt have widdled me to the bone, dont do it to yourself!! The nights laying awake, the what if's, the I should haves and the guilt hurt, and I am sorry to hear you are having to endure this.

Talk to someone, talk to us, scream outside....do what you must, try not to let stay with you...Time and more time, it takes alot to heal and I hope you do soon.

It WILL get better. You are not far out of this yet, but you have a new precious baby to fill your heart...it will push the pain out, but let the memories live...I promise
Bric

Bric,
You are right and what a great way of to looking at things. You even made me feel better.

Sharon,
We can all learn from this. We will all know what kid of med. it was and what kind of effect it had on Eephus so if a vet were to try to put any of our birds or birds that we know on it we can know about what it can do. I know it hurt to share this and bring it all back up but it just might save a birds life one day.

Jim
08-04-2005, 12:10 AM
I know that there is very little I can say to stop the pain. But please, do not let this "Haunt you for the rest of your life".

I have been there, but I am sure that is does little to ease the pain hearing that. I know it feels like nobody in the world can understand, and really we can not understand your pain; but we know pain hurts and hate to see you feel bad.

Accidents Happen and they are not our fault. We trust valued professionals, it is not our fault when they mess up. We educate ourselves and move on. Do what you can to work through this. I lost a bird recently, a real bad blow to me and blaming myself and guilt have widdled me to the bone, dont do it to yourself!! The nights laying awake, the what if's, the I should haves and the guilt hurt, and I am sorry to hear you are having to endure this.

Talk to someone, talk to us, scream outside....do what you must, try not to let stay with you...Time and more time, it takes alot to heal and I hope you do soon.

It WILL get better. You are not far out of this yet, but you have a new precious baby to fill your heart...it will push the pain out, but let the memories live...I promise
BricThank You Bric,

Very thoughtful and heartfelt post.
:thanx:

Sue
08-04-2005, 09:14 AM
Oh Sharon, my heart goes out to you:heart: :tighthug: I am so sorry.

You trusted an avian vet, what else can we do, in these situations we HAVE to trust them!
I can't add much as it's all been said but please try not to put all the guilt on yourself (difficult I know) and try to take comfort in the knowledge you did your best for him and by sharing you may have saved another bird who could have ended up on this drug.
Please take care, our thoughts are with you.:wub:

Dynaglide625
08-04-2005, 11:51 AM
Sharon-Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story. I can't say much more than everyone else has, except that you have probably helped some other family avoid the same sort of tragedy. I know we have learned so much from everyone's stories & experiences here on BoF, hopefully we can steer clear of future agonizing events. After losing Napoleon (tiel), our first fid, I never thought we could love another as much. Quite frankly, I was afraid to bring another home cause I didn't want to leave myself open to be hurt again. But you know, it's like losing any other companion, you can't turn off sharing your capacity for love. It's not fair to the others who cross your path that really need a loving and safe home. Sorry, a bit long-winded I'm afraid.
Anne